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This habit of jerking off to lingerie catalogs and fantasies of girls I knew went on for about a year. But I don't think it really fully dawned on me what was happening until he drove away. For the first year or so of knowing and understanding that I was a pedophile, I was terrified that I was doomed to become a child molester. I will say that I was never the victim of an adult pedophile offender though.

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Why is this happening to so many women and there's no way to stop it? Once they are pubescent, any and all attraction disappears. As an aside, how strange is it that my sexual attraction to children just happens to be only to children who are in the age range where my own childhood sexual trauma took place? When I do, all I want in the world is to swoop in, take them in my arms, hold them and make their pain go away.

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